The Problem With SharePoint Recruiters

I swear to god, 1/2 of the recruiters that contact me for SharePoint gigs don’t even know what the hell they are talking about. It’s ridiculous, and seriously makes you question who pays these people actual money (or if HR people just work to acquire the blood of animals to drink it like I always assumed they do). I want to be a recruiter for SharePoint projects, then I can randomly bang my face on a keyboard and then hit send. The end result would probably be more compelling than the messages that I receive, and most likely make a lot more sense.

For example, here is a letter that I received from a recruiter at TekSystems (whom I would rather saw off and eat my own arm rather than work for) that I got today (actually, 5 minutes before which spawned this post):

I have a 3 month opportunity in Green Bay, Wisconsin for an Internet Data Architech-Sharepoint with United Health Care. The selected individual will work along with the UHG technical architect for the ADR application in migrating an existing SharePoint application in SharePoint Portal Server 2003 to the WSS 2.0 Platform. The candidate will be expected to provide technical leadership in this migration activity and also have the capability to be a hands-on active contributor in the migration process.

The Core Skills Needed are:

* Expert knowledge of Portal Server 2003 and WSS 2.0 platform
* Experience in development and deployment of custom SharePoint
applications in the above platforms.
* Deep Understanding of the database schemas used by SharePoint
platforms of the above products and knowledge of migration of schemas
between different instances of database platforms such as SQL Server
2000 and SQL Server 2005
*Experience in the infrastructure planning and deployment of
custom SharePoint applications.
* Experience in writing web parts for WSS 2.0 application

Ok, before we play the obvious spot-the-recruiter-mistake game, I would just like to point out that this Jennifer person either obligatorily doesn’t use spell check or is blind, or just attempting to piss me off in which case she hit her mark. I mean, besides the little annoyances in the letter like spelling SharePoint and then Sharepoint (the capital P way is the right way), she can’t even spell the word architect. How can you be a technical recruiter (which was in her signature) when you can’t even spell the word architect. That’s like me being a developer and consistently spelling the word “new” wrong so that my object statements instead went SPSite site = mmmeeeeeeoooowwww SPSite(); Besides the fact it wouldn’t compile, it just makes me really, really bad at my job. And people would make fun of me.

Ok, so can you spot the huge problem with this email? If you can’t and you work with SharePoint, you should immediately go acquire an appropriate length of rope.
1) SharePoint Portal Server 2003 to WSS 2.0? Eh, what? What the hell are you talking about Jennifer? Besides the fact that you would pretty much just end up doing a raw content migration in that case, why would you want to migrate an already standing up instance whom I HAVE to assume is paid for (United Health Care is a large company, and clearly would have really, really deep pockets). That makes a lot of sense. Nice!

2) Ok, ok. I’m being harsh. Jennifer obviously meant WSS 3.0. That’s cool Jenny, I won’t bag on you anymore. Hmmmmmm, so you want to migrate SharePoint Portal Server 2003 to WSS 3.0? That’s great! Oh, I mean besides the fact that is completely unsupported, per MSFT’s words “The only valid upgrade path for SharePoint Portal Server 2003 is to Office SharePoint Server 2007”. Before you send some crap like this, would you care to use the amazing piece of technology called a search engine? I know, its a scary thing.

Anyways, I am done venting about this. I guess the only reason that I get so mad is the fact that recruiters have a really, really specific job, and most of them when it comes to SharePoint are just fucking terrible at it.